i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize