I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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