You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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