just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
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