Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize