Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
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