I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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