you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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