what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
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hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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