Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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