check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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