he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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