I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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