I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
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