Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
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i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
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We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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