The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
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ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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