How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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