I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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