Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize