I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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