just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize