Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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