Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
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We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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