So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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