I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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