Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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