if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I am midnight drunk by noon
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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