if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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