when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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