Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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