Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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