so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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