Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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