last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
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You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
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some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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