Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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