Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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