so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina just recognized that song.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
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