dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize