Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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