hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize