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guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
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