i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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