is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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