Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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