I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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