Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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