Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize