Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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