did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
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She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
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It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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