She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize